I wanted to start with a little update before we get into things here in case anyone has wondered what I’ve been up to lately or where I’ve been. I needed to take time off to work on my mental health, grieve the loss of my friends who passed away in July, and just pull myself away from the toxicity that often comes with consuming myself in the world of social media. I still love writing and I’m still passionate about this blog, but I needed a break to collect my thoughts and I didn’t want to force myself to post until I was fully ready and willing. After a much needed and lengthy break, I decided to return with a post to celebrate my recent 30th birthday.
These are things that I’ve learned in my 30 years of life and are very personal. They aren’t lessons for others to live by and of course these lessons have come with knowledge of the privilege that I have and are meant in no way to sound conceited or cocky. With that out of the way, let’s get into it!
30 Things I’ve learned in 30 Years
1. The world doesn’t owe you anything.When you think you NEED something or you think you are owed something, it’s usually a result of your own Ego.
2. Take two seconds before you say anything to think about how it is going to sound. Does it sound negative? Does it provide help? If not, it’s maybe best to keep it to yourself.
3. Don’t waste your time trying to understand why people are the way they are. People are going to think differently than you and disagree with you on certain things that you think are so obvious and should be a certain way. If it’s someone you can engage in an educated conversation with, then have that conversation, but more often than not it’s someone you are just going to encounter in a work or random situation and your time and energy are too precious to be wasted trying to change the way someone thinks.
4. Don’t get into relationships thinking you can change or fix a person. Just don’t.
5. Do you research. Before you get into anything or buy anything, do some research. It will save you time and money in the long run.
6. Understand the value of your time. One of the things my brother taught me, was to assess what I thought my time was worth to a company/employer. We sat down and thought about it together when I was in my early 20s. Ever since, I’ve felt more confident going into interviews knowing that I was providing value to people and that if something wasn’t right for me, then I had every right to leave/decline a position.
7. In order to move forward, we must let go of the past. That doesn’t mean forget your past, but you can’t move on if you’re still holding on to things that have previously happened. Those things may have been cruel, unfair, unjust, tragic or morally wrong but they happened and now it’s over. So move on. Holding on to the past is toxic.
8. Based on the last one— you can’t control everything. You can’t control your past and you can’t always control how things turn out. But you can control how you react, and what you do with your emotions. And that’s a powerful thing.
9. Tell your loved ones you love them. Tell them every day. There’s no such thing as too much love.
10. Everything you do, do it with your whole heart.
11. Dancing in your underwear alone on a Friday night is one of the best times to be had.
12. Get into nature. It will heal your soul.
13. The hardest part of working out, is just getting to the gym. The rest is easy and you’ll feel so accomplished after.
14. Don’t grocery shop without a list or on an empty stomach.
15. Forgive yourself.
16. You are not responsible for other people’s happiness.
17. Sometimes you need to feel extreme pain in order to appreciate extreme joy.
18. When people say “start saving early” they aren’t doing it to just say it —it’s true. Vancouver is fucking expensive and if I had put even just $5 away every pay cheque, I would have had a head start rather than seriously starting now.
19. Learn how to budget—really budget and be smart with your money.
20. Alternatively, understand that money comes and goes and experiences can’t be bought. If it’s something you’ll regret a year from now, do it. If not, don’t sweat it.
21. It’s not failure if you learned from it. It’s only failure if you didn’t see the lesson.
22. Trust your gut. You know the answers. You just don’t always want to listen to them. But your gut is almost always right. Especially when it comes to love.
23. When stressed, busy, flustered or overwhelmed: stop, take a deep breath, wait a second, think, and then move forward.
24. It’s okay to say no. You don’t always need to explain yourself.
25. If you get gum in your hair, wash it out. Don’t cut it out.(RIP Cass’ hair, age 6)
26. Don’t peroxide bleach your hair. In fact, don’t colour your hair yourself at all. Leave it to the professionals.
27. Mom is one of the greatest, smartest and strongest women you will ever meet.
28. You are not perfect. And that’s totally okay.
29. “You’re Wrong About Everything” (From The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**K) Everything you think you know now isn’t necessarily true or right: we are always learning.
30. Dad is always going to be with you. In the biggest moments and often times in the small, quiet ones.
Thanks for reading, and I will be back much sooner than later!