Wow wow wowwwww… It’s been a minute. BUT I feel like I say that every time so let’s just get to it…
I’ve had a lot of time over the last few months to grieve, self-reflect, get my heart broken and all the fun things that come with being an adult— Oh joy! But it’s really allowed me to take a look at where I’ve been heading and where I want this blog to go. I still love writing about beauty and fitness, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like our society is awfully oversaturated with that type of content now-a-days, so I’ve been compelled to write more about my experiences. I also feel like it’s what many other people like myself are going through at this point in their lives, namely being a thirty-something-year-old living in an expensive city filled with not so empathetic citizens, all while struggling to figure out what it is we want in life. Does that make sense? I hope so…
While chatting with my mom one day (who’s my bff by the way) she mentioned to me the idea of “your life is not about you” and for some reason that really stuck for me. I think it’s because that idea has always sat, percolating in the back of my mind. I’ve always sort of felt like my life wasn’t about what I did so much as it was about the impact or impression I left behind. I’ve always felt like I’ve had a hard time deciding on one thing to do because as soon as I dedicated all of my time to it, it felt like a job and no longer like a passion.
This was first apparent when I enrolled in an acting program at the age of eighteen. My entire life, I had always thought I wanted to be an actress and a singer. I even have drawings from when I was a kid of the whole “what do you want to be when you grow up” and I drew myself as a singer and even wrote, “and while I’m working towards that I will be a waitress”. For a kid, I was pretty realistic. I had it all planned out. And to be fair, I’m currently working in the service industry, so I guess you could say I’m kind of living my dream. But back to my point… I entered this program and my life quickly became engulfed in the world of film and stage. It was what I had wanted my entire life, but I was still so young and also entangled in the most toxic relationship of my life. I couldn’t commit enough to the program and so by the end of my first year, I had barely any ambition left to continue on to the next year. Instead I had decided that I liked more of the behind-the-scenes action and maybe writing and film was more of my jam.
Fast forward through many career changes later: a diploma in makeup artistry and half-way through a degree in a bachelor of arts. I’ve been writing this blog (and even another before this) since the beginning of 2014. It’s one of the only things I have ever felt like I’m doing on my own terms, at my own pace and something that might possibly affect others in a positive way. It’s never been about money for me (possibly because I’m not making any from this) but also because it’s this piece of me that I’m choosing to share with the world to hopefully enrich the lives of others, along with my own.
I think that’s what the whole point of “your life is not about you” is. I don’t want to chase after a career where I’m not able to be genuine, while also being able to inspire and affect others positively.
Life is so much bigger than just “us”. We are such a small, small component in the universe and have such a short amount of time to leave our mark on this earth. At the end of the day, it’s important to do what makes you happy, whatever that may be. But it shouldn’t be because you feel the need to make “x” amount of money or that you need to be at point “a” by a certain age.
We are all on our own paths, and we all have the ability to affect others while we’re doing our own thing. So why not leave a positive impact on the world?
With all my love,
If you enjoyed this post, please help me get it into the hands of others by sharing it on your social platforms. It takes only a second, and means the world to me.
Inspiration for this post also came from this video here:
It touches a lot on religion and God and although, I don’t consider myself to be a Christian by any means (I grew up Catholic though), I do think the points are still the same and I really enjoyed the video.
Feature image credit: Simon Shim